Issue 1664
commentatorballs "They're trying the other umpire this time. I don't know if Mr Sharfuddoula has a different sized ring as to umpire Holdstock"
JONATHAN AGNEW, 5 Live Sports Extra

"Farke is showing no sign of falling on his shield"
ADAM POPE, BBC Radio Leeds

"Milder in the south – in fact some temperatures could get as high as several figures"
ELIZABETH RIZZINI, Radio 4

"They've got to try for everybody that's illegible to play for Scotland"
RORY LOY, BBC Scotland

"Victor Torp sent the home fans into ruptures and completed the comeback"
ZANE HOGAN, ITV

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Private Eye Issue 1664
In This Issue
Early complaint over Christmas repeats... TV highlights: I'm a Cricketer, Get Me Out for a Duck!... Is Farage still funny? asks Alf Garnett... Chaos as Your Party tries to organise Christmas party... Scrooge reacts to budget... Politicians stunned that politicians lie to the public... Sleepy Don denies napping... Nursery Times: Oz says no to social media... What are the Dimblebys for?... Civilisations Rise and Fall: Egypt (BBC2), as described by Craig Brown

Burning ears
Why Drax's management are revolting

Rich pitch
Reform UK has found a route to generous donations

Tommy knockers
The Mail on Sunday's hold on Thomas Markle

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Private Eye Issue 1663
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