"Blair Kinghorn spread those long legs of his and absolutely gassed everyone"
BENJAMIN KAYSER, ITV1

"He's not only fast, but he's got electric pace!"
STEVEN NAISMITH, BBC2

"Ilias Chair is injured and will sit this one out"
ALEX CROOK, Talksport

"The second half was not just a complete turnaround, it was a complete volte-face"
PAT NEVIN, Radio 5 Live

"Saffron is one of those things you either love or hate. I'm middle ground on it, to be honest"
RICHARD BAINBRIDGE, BBC1

Please email your entries to balls@private-eye.co.uk. £10 paid for submissions printed in the magazine.