Tweet

"You could almost cut the electricity here in the arena”
DARREN FLETCHER, TNT Sports

"If you're in the air, you've left the ground”
JOE HART, Radio 5 live

"They have old shoulders on their heads”
JAMES GREGG, Radio 5 Live

"Those [Newcastle] supporters who have made the long journey north are having an excellent afternoon here in Suffolk”
TOM GAYLE, BBC1

"How has Gabriel missed that? That's easier to miss than it is to score!”
ALAN SHEARER, Amazon Prime

Please email your entries to balls@private-eye.co.uk. £10 paid for submissions printed in the magazine.