The Totally Secure Prime Minister’s WhatsApp Group
Members Only, Issue 1646
PM's WhatsApp Group
Morgan McSweeney
Hi, team. Welcome to our new social media communications platform, to reflect Security in a Changing World.
We're using Signal to send a signal to the White House.
Peter Mandelson
And the signal is, “We'll do anything you say, Mr Wonderful President.”
Morgan McSweeney
How did you get into this group?
Peter Mandelson
I was invited. My number was included on the list.
Yvette Cooper
What's that – Transylvania 1431?
Morgan McSweeney
Is there anyone else who shouldn't be here?
JD Vance
Yeah! Me, you losers! God, I hate you guys. Weak, pathetic, freeloading scumsuckers!
Mike Waltz
Thanks very much, JD. And thanks, Mike. Erm, what exactly does that mean?
Mike Waltz
Europe needs a punch in the face from America and then we'll set fire to you.
Thanks very much, Mike. We could do with a National Security Adviser like you. Great to know our allies are on our side. And that the special relationship is still special.
JD Vance
Yeah, we SPECIALLY hate you!
Mike Waltz
We hate you more than the Houthis! And we don't even know who they are.
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