The Totally Secure Prime Minister’s WhatsApp Group
Members Only, Issue 1643
PM's WhatsApp Group
Jonathan Reynolds
So, as Trade Minister, can I ask what’s our position regarding Trump’s steel tariffs?
David Lammy
On our knees, I think.
No, we’re very well placed, actually. How can we be hit by tariffs if we don’t have a steel industry anymore.
Rachel Reeves
25% of nothing is nothing!
Angela Rayner
Great maths, Rachel!
Rachel Reeves
Well, I did work for the Bank of England.
Angela Rayner
And I’m a fookin’ astronaut. It says so on my CV!
Rachel Reeves
Haven’t you got homes to build, Angela?
Angela Rayner
Actually, I went to see some construction work with my new bezzie, Charlie, aka His Majesty the King.
Angela Rayner
The King likes a hard-drinking party girl!
Wes Streeting
You two have more than that in common – neither of you pay any tax on your second homes! Just saying!
Morgan McSweeney
Nasty, offensive, Reformy. I love it!
To read all of the PM's highly confidential Whatsapp Group Chat, buy the latest edition of Private Eye - you can subscribe here and have the magazine delivered to your home every fortnight.

Next issue on sale: 5th March 2025
gnitty
MORE TOP STORIES ONLINE
Moscow-on-Sea
Moscow-on-Sea
Dubai helps Russians get round sanctions
In The Back, Issue 1641
Battle royal
Battle royal
Legal troubles for certain media outlets
Street Of Shame, Issue 1642
Oh, Nandy
Oh, Nandy
The dilemma over the BBC licence fee
Media News, Issue 1641
ALSO IN THIS ISSUE
ONLY IN THE MAGAZINE
Private Eye Issue 1643
In This Issue
Venetian Times: Doge takes over – government in chaos... Shoplifting hits Nurseryland... Assisted living bill runs into no problems at all... Exclusive to all newspapers: Rachel Reeves – what a disgrace!... Bishops – 'We had no idea this was taking place'... Israeli ironyometer explodes... Conspiracy update: attempted cat assassination special... TV highlights: The White Potus... Whither Bianca Censori?, as told to Craig Brown

RIP (off)
Slicker remembers Adil Nadir

Return flight
The transport secretary has been on a journey over Heathrow

Pitch fever
Why Prince Andrew might have reasons to be cheerful

Read these stories and much more - only in the magazine. Subscribe here to get delivery direct to your home and never miss an issue!
ONLY £2.99
SUBSCRIBE HERE
NEXT ISSUE ON SALE
5th March 2025
WHY SUBSCRIBE?
Private Eye Issue 1642
MORE FROM PRIVATE EYE