The Totally Secure Prime Minister’s WhatsApp Group
Members Only, Issue 1644
Members Only, Issue 1644
Before I go to the States, I’ve got a big announcement to make.
Rachel Reeves
Well, I think that’s very unfair. I haven’t had time to balance the books after inheriting a terrible black hole.
Well, I think that’s very unfair. I haven’t had time to balance the books after inheriting a terrible black hole.
No, Rachel, not that announcement. Not yet anyway. I’ve decided to
increase defence spending.
Rachel Reeves
Didn’t you hear what I said about a terrible black hole?
Didn’t you hear what I said about a terrible black hole?
This is a generational moment. We’re under attack and face the biggest threat to Europe
since the Second World War.
David Lammy
Donald Trump?
Donald Trump?
Peter Mandelson
Oh, come on, David, that’s what we thought last week. Donald is now our friend and trusted ally, who will single us out from the rest of Europe.
Oh, come on, David, that’s what we thought last week. Donald is now our friend and trusted ally, who will single us out from the rest of Europe.
David Lammy
For punishment?
For punishment?
Peter Mandelson
No, for preferential treatment on account of our special relationship, our historical ties and my proposal to give him the entire Lake District as a golf course.
No, for preferential treatment on account of our special relationship, our historical ties and my proposal to give him the entire Lake District as a golf course.
Morgan McSweeney
Can we get back to reality?
Can we get back to reality?
Peter Mandelson
With Trump? I fear not.
With Trump? I fear not.
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Next issue on sale: 20th March 2025
Next issue on sale: 20th March 2025
