The Totally Secure Prime Minister’s WhatsApp Group
Members Only, Issue 1636
PM's WhatsApp Group
Angela Rayner
Wow, Rachel! Great budget! Tax! Borrow! Spend! What a surprise! Didn’t see any of that coming!
Rachel Reeves
Oh, I thought I’d prepared the ground rather thoroughly by leaking every single detail in the preceding three months.
Angela Rayner
It was a joke, Rachel.
Rachel Reeves
Oh, yes. Jokes. I know jokes. I like jokes. I made jokes in my Budget speech.
Darren Jones
They were real zingers, boss.
Rachel Reeves
There was the one about the increase in air passenger duty for private jets... to, say, California.
Darren Jones
Suck it up, Rishi Rish Person!
Rachel Reeves
Then there was the one about safeguarding workers from bullying in, say, the Shadow Cabinet.
Darren Jones
Take that, Kemi Bad Person!
Angela Rayner
But the third joke was the best. “This is a Budget for growth”! Bloody hysterical!
That wasn’t a joke.
To read all of the PM's highly confidential Whatsapp Group Chat, buy the latest edition of Private Eye - you can subscribe here and have the magazine delivered to your home every fortnight.

Next issue on sale: 20th November 2024
gnitty
MORE TOP STORIES ONLINE
Costa packet
Costa packet
The MP who oversees standards
HP Sauce, Issue 1634
Out of focus
Out of focus
Cock-up by Reach’s digital boss
Street Of Shame, Issue 1636
Hard reboot
Hard reboot
CQC gives up on its IT system
In The Back, Issue 1634
ALSO IN THIS ISSUE
ONLY IN THE MAGAZINE
Private Eye Issue 1636
In This Issue
Tories prove they are the party of diversity… Hitler denies link with Trump… Labour starts giving free jabs to public… Plunging birthrate hits Nurseryland… World furiously warns Israel it will do nothing… Nadine Dorries: My Struggle with Bozempic… Dame Jilly Cooper: Me and My Spoon… Boris Johnson denies his memoir ever happened… Elon Musk’s Diary, as told to Craig Brown

Generation game
Old Sparky on the fading of the Drax flame

A new leaf
Why the Mail has mellowed on CBD products

Budget budge
Which Labour MP wanted a “radical overhaul of the tax system”?

Read these stories and much more - only in the magazine. Subscribe here to get delivery direct to your home and never miss an issue!
ONLY £2.99
SUBSCRIBE HERE
NEXT ISSUE ON SALE
20th November 2024
WHY SUBSCRIBE?
Private Eye Issue 1635
ALSO AVAILABLE ONLINE