Issue 1636
"They were playing on the flattest pitch in all of Christendom"
SIMON MANN in, er, Multan, Pakistan, 5 Live Sports Extra
"He was a bit unlucky there – it was six of one and a dozen of the other"
ALAN SMITH, Sky Sports
"We’re not savvy to what’s said in the dressing room"
THEO WALCOTT, Sky Sports
"Best ever World Superbike race we’ve ever seen for a long time, if ever!"
JAMES TOSELAND, Eurosport
"He scored the only goal of the game, which turned out to be the match- winner"
MARTIN TYLER, Sky Sports
SIMON MANN in, er, Multan, Pakistan, 5 Live Sports Extra
"He was a bit unlucky there – it was six of one and a dozen of the other"
ALAN SMITH, Sky Sports
"We’re not savvy to what’s said in the dressing room"
THEO WALCOTT, Sky Sports
"Best ever World Superbike race we’ve ever seen for a long time, if ever!"
JAMES TOSELAND, Eurosport
"He scored the only goal of the game, which turned out to be the match- winner"
MARTIN TYLER, Sky Sports
Please email your entries to balls@private-eye.co.uk. £10 paid for submissions printed in the magazine.