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Members Only, Issue 1634

Come on everyone, we need to pull together. We need to be united.

Rosie Duffield
I quit.

Why?

Rosie Duffield
Because of your sleaze, nepotism and avarice. Because of your cruel policies towards children and pensioners. Because of your heavy-handed management style.

Is that all?

Rosie Duffield
Too late. I’ve already resigned on principle.

Pat McFadden
The principle that you were never going to be promoted and you hate Keir and were just waiting for the right moment to gain maximum revenge on him?

Rosie Duffield
I demand an apology. You’re getting nothing from me, Rosie, not a hostage.

Darren Jones
Sausage?

Rosie Duffield
You see, you’re subconsciously anti-semitic, with your obsession with pork products. Goodbye.

Rosie Duffield has removed herself from the group but not from all newspapers, TV stations, radio studios etc, who are very keen on hearing her position on anti-Starmerism.

Rachel Reeves
I think this is all a distraction from the massive financial black hole.

Angela Rayner
What? From paying back the cost of our freebies? Flippin’ Nora!

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In This Issue

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The UK's freeports are hives of inactivity

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The Duchy of Cornwall's "feudal rule" on the Scilly Isles

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Turmoil at the Guardian over the Observer sale

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