Private Eye Mediaballs

Issue 1634

"If you're old enough, you're good enough"

"Everyone I've spoken to, including myself..."

"The goalkeeper kept his legs wide open and Jackson could not help himself "

"...Just trying to put round holes in square pegs"

"It's not easy trying to win a tournament this size with Rory McIlroy breathing down his throat"

gnitty
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ONLY IN THE MAGAZINE

In This Issue

Rock attack solves Middle East crisis once and for all… Netanyahu popularity rockets after missile attacks… US politics hit new low… The Sound of Music, re-jack-booted… Who will replace Gary Lineker as non-controversial host of Match of the Day?… Conspiracy update: Second moon special… Small island given away… Pin the Chagos archipelago on the Indian Ocean… Down the centuries with ITV's Loose Women, as told to Craig Brown

Friendless zones
The UK's freeports are hives of inactivity

Rogue landlord
The Duchy of Cornwall's "feudal rule" on the Scilly Isles

Sunday worst
Turmoil at the Guardian over the Observer sale

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