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Mediaballs
Issue 1371
Break the Safe, BBC1
Nick Knowles: What two words complete the title to a Julia Roberts film: "Eat...”?
First contestant: Pray.
Second contestant: Mantis.
Pointless, BBC1
Alexander Armstrong: We’re looking for words that end “-light”.
Contestant: I was dreading a question like this, so I’m going to say the first thing that comes into my head: Pre-Raphaelight.
Heart FM, Glasgow
Ewen Cameron: It lives in a hutch, Bugs Bunny is one of them.
Caller: An owl?

gnitty
Please email your entries to dumb@private-eye.co.uk

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Next issue on sale:
5th August 2014.
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Private Eye Issue 1371
private eye Only In The Magazine

John Sweeney loses temper with ‘Managementologists’… PHWOAR! What a Reshuffle!!… The Seven Stages of Grieve… Nick Clegg’s Saturday Kitchen Cocktail: The Flaming Idiot… How to throw a party for a one-year-old Royal baby… England Sportsmen set ‘Bad Example’… Memories of Test Match Special, with Henry Blofeld and Peter Baxter, as told to Craig Brown

And also...

- Telegraphic Details: Former hack convicted of rape and other sex offences.
- How Authors Relax: A one-upmanship summer special
- Alive & Shipping: Scene and Heard watches live animal exports at Ramsgate
For all these stories you can buy the magazine or subscribe here and get delivery direct to your home every fortnight.
Next issue on sale: 5th August 2014.

Private Eye Issue 1370
gnitty