Private Eye logo
twitter
twitter
rss
rss
rss
rss
gnitty
new coalition academy
A Message From The Former Headmaster
Issue 1390
tony.jpg I just wanted to say that, when it comes to choosing the next Headmaster, it’s got to be supply teacher Mr Miliband who I am 110 percent behind. No. Honestly.

I have in my possession a secret dossier which proves absolutely that if the current Headmaster, Mr Cameron, is allowed to continue, then the school will descend into absolute chaos.

His views on CoAc’s role in the wider European educational framework are little short of mad. And, believe me, I am an expert.

Look, I know people will say I’m sexing up the case and there’s no evidence of CoAc’s mass destruction, but you’ll just have to trust me.

As my old spokesman Mr Campbell would have said, “Listen, fuckwit, just write down what I’m fucking saying or fuck off.”

T.B.

To read more letters from the Headmaster (and of course, the Deputy Head), please buy the latest edition of Private Eye - or subscribe here and have the magazine delivered to your home every fortnight.

Next issue on sale:
28th April 2015.
gnitty
More From This Issue
Mediaballs
All the latest gaffes
more »
Mediaballs
Top Stories
Street Of Shame
more »
Top Stories
Number
Crunching
more »
Number
Also Available Online
More From This Issue
Private Eye Issue 1390
private eye Only In The Magazine

US Invades Sussex: ‘It’s Not the Oil’, Claims President… Labour’s new threat to destroy Britain loses them election, says Daily Blackmail… ‘How I Fell in Love with Wallace,’ by Wendolene… The Joy of Economics: Ed Milband’s Guide to Labour Love-making… Businessmen Support Tories – Shock New Letter to the Torygraph… George Galloway: Me and My Spoon… Diary from the Office of Tony Blair, as told to Craig Brown

And also...

- Stink tanks: Michael Gove and Sajid Javid address a secret right-wing beano in the US
- That’s rich: BBC gives £15,000 to memorial service for multi-millionaire David Frost
- Sex, lies & ferrets: News of the World habits live on at the Sun on Sunday
For all these stories you can buy the magazine or subscribe here and get delivery direct to your home every fortnight.
Next issue on sale: 28th April 2015.

Private Eye Issue 1389
gnitty