The Headmaster has made it absolutely clear that no one will be discriminated against on the grounds of race, creed, colour or where they went to school.
So, following recent events elsewhere, we are delighted to welcome to the Cameron Free School the distinguished actor and Old Etonian, Sgt Brodie from Homeland, aka Lewis, D (OE), to turn on the lights in our new Careers Advisory Unit (sample advice: go to Eton). Salve Damian!
By the way, Mr Johnson says sorry for flushing your head down the toilet back then, but it was all good training for when you were tortured by the Taliban.
I’m afraid there’s no room for any more pupils from Syria.
This is for humanitarian reasons because if they came over to the school, they would have to wear a red wristband and be put in a dormitory with a red door, which they wouldn’t like and besides it’s very cold at this time of year, which they wouldn’t like either.
So all in all, it’s a compassionate “no” from the Headmaster.